Red Thread To China 2007

Jerry got the call today from the builder that they want to set up a meeting with the construction manager for next week. Yeah!!!!!! That means they will be starting soon. I can't wait to actually be in it though. If everything goes well we may be in by spring.
I think decorating the new house might take my mind off the adoption wait, which I really need right now. I have been doing so well up until this last month or so. I can't seem to get this bad feeling out of my head that we will never get to the end of this very long tunnel. It is so great to see all the referrals every month and all the babies coming home., I feel so happy for all those families, but at the same time I feel such an overwhelming sense of sadness that it is not our family this time and that it may never happen for us. Jerry always tells me to relax, our time will come. And I know in my mind that he is right, but my heart aches for this child. To hold her in my arms, to comfort her and let her know that she will never have to feel alone again. I want to take care of her when she doesn't feel well, when she is sad or hurt. Sorry to go on and on about this. Maybe tomorrow will be better.