All is well!
14 years ago
Saturday, December 13, 2008
Well just 2 short months ago we were waiting in a small office in Zhengzhou, China waiting for them to bring Levi to us. When they brought him in he was very scared and so shy. He has come a long way but still has some issues. Mostly with me. It is hard not to take it personally when he pushes me away or does this growl type scream at me when he doesn't get what he wants or things don't go his way. He seems to do great some days, but then others are bad. Today was one of the bad days. I guess that was why I was in such a mood today. On the way to the family Christmas get together he was in one of his moods where I coundn't do anything right for him. I was in the back seat with him and he was pinching me and would not even let me look at him much less touch him. At one point he actually made me cry. I know I shouldn't be taking it personally, but boy is it hard not to. Sometimes I just wonder if maybe I am doing something wrong to make him act like this to me. Just when I start to feel like he is starting to bond with me, we have one of these days. Everyone says wow he looks like a normal kid to me, and he is in some ways. But in others he is not.
I know we must have looked like some sort of over protective crazy parents to his family, but since he is not 100 percent bonded to me, we decided that it was best not to let everyone hold him like all the books that I have read suggested. I just hope everyone understands how hard it is on us also to have to keep everyone including family at a distance at first. It would be wonderful to be able to treat him as I did my older kids, but we have to do what we think is best to give Levi the foundation that he has missed for the past 3 years. I know sometimes these things take some time, and I have to stop and remind myself of this when he has one of these days. The good thing is his good days outnumber his bad days by a long shot. And eveyday he makes more progress. By this time next year we can just let him jump right in with the other kids, and all will be good.
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2 comments:
I wish there was some type of handout we could give everyone that got the point across short and sweet so they would understand how important it is. We are the ones parenting our children and being "over cautious" in the case is definately warranted.
I've enjoyed reading your blog- thanks for being so honest about how you are feeling about all of this!
I thought he was wonderful!! Watching you reminded me of my daughter. My grand daughter hits her mama all the time; she gets in trouble for it. But she is just trying to test the waters (all kids do) Just like Levi is you. The difference in Levi and other kids is his age. We grew up with our kids from day one and we had the bonding time. With Levi he is in his terrible two and that wonderful age where they are trying to be independent. I could tell the other night, he does trust a lot. He may test you, but you and Jerry are his security. Write your feelings down each day and what happens each day. When you are having a bad day, go read your journal. It will make you feel better when you can see the progress on paper. A year from now you will laugh, but right now it is ok to cry. I cried when I was raising my kids and my daughter cries now. Every perfect thing takes time to create. You’re doing a wonderful job keep up the good work!! I have some cute pictures I need to send you. We all understood, just enjoyed meeting him!! Take care Kathy
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